My friend got back together with is whore, which weirds me out because she did him dirty as hell, and he said he claimed to be sick of the shit...
My cousin got drunk, and then she got irate. She went from venting about some shit she was hurt about, to attacking me personally... Going so far as to hit me a few times. I mean she's small, and I'm quite large, so I wasn't actually injured or anything. I wasn't hurt by the things she said, because I'm used to harsh words. What is affecting me is that she was so intent on trying to get under my skin. That is, in turn, what actually got under my skin. Not her words, but the intention behind them.
Imagine a bee with no stinger relentlessly trying to sting another bee. No, the stinger-less bee's not doing anything harmful or life-threatening to the other, but it really wants to. Now imagine that the stinger-less bee was not only one of the other bee's best friends, but also his family. That's why it's kinda fucked up, to me.
Drunkenness will eternally be blamed, but it doesn't dismiss the fact that you really tried so hard to hurt your own blood. Not cool. I'm not even really mad*, I just have an overwhelming sense of done-ness in regard to her for the time being.
I can't decide whether to commit to it or not, though.
What I'm slowly realizing about my cousin is that she's severely damaged (more so than she lets on) and, to a certain degree, unstable. Between childhood daddy issues, a traumatic abortion, and whatever other shit she's gone through and not told me, she's fucked up. I always thought she had the strength of mind to overcome these obstacles, but apparently I was wrong, and she does not. The more I think of her and her situations/experiences, the more I realize that some of the fucked up shit she does is because she's fucked up. Just like I am, really. I do fucked up shit, too, but I like to think I handle it better. It's like I have more boundaries, or something like that. Whatever, it's obviously a biased opinion.
With that said, though, I don't know whether I should hold her off or not. I don't know if it's ok to, knowing that this is coming from someone with an 'unstable core'. That's in regard to the long run, though. For the time being, yes, she's being held at arms' length.
I didn't really want this entry to be about her, but it's been bugging me since Wednesday night/Thursday morning when it happened.
I'll cover The Dark Knight Rises in the next one.
[X_X]-A.P.
*I wasn't angry initially, nor am I now, but last night was completely different. I got very drunk, very angry, and, had she answered her phone, I would've verbally assaulted her until I'd destroyed our whole friend-/family-/relationship completely. Luckily, she didn't pick up, and I called a good friend of mine whom, despite being stressed about a case of domestic violence next door, took the time out to listen to me vent completely. Then she read me Harry Potter until I fell asleep.
My cousin got drunk, and then she got irate. She went from venting about some shit she was hurt about, to attacking me personally... Going so far as to hit me a few times. I mean she's small, and I'm quite large, so I wasn't actually injured or anything. I wasn't hurt by the things she said, because I'm used to harsh words. What is affecting me is that she was so intent on trying to get under my skin. That is, in turn, what actually got under my skin. Not her words, but the intention behind them.
Imagine a bee with no stinger relentlessly trying to sting another bee. No, the stinger-less bee's not doing anything harmful or life-threatening to the other, but it really wants to. Now imagine that the stinger-less bee was not only one of the other bee's best friends, but also his family. That's why it's kinda fucked up, to me.
Drunkenness will eternally be blamed, but it doesn't dismiss the fact that you really tried so hard to hurt your own blood. Not cool. I'm not even really mad*, I just have an overwhelming sense of done-ness in regard to her for the time being.
I can't decide whether to commit to it or not, though.
What I'm slowly realizing about my cousin is that she's severely damaged (more so than she lets on) and, to a certain degree, unstable. Between childhood daddy issues, a traumatic abortion, and whatever other shit she's gone through and not told me, she's fucked up. I always thought she had the strength of mind to overcome these obstacles, but apparently I was wrong, and she does not. The more I think of her and her situations/experiences, the more I realize that some of the fucked up shit she does is because she's fucked up. Just like I am, really. I do fucked up shit, too, but I like to think I handle it better. It's like I have more boundaries, or something like that. Whatever, it's obviously a biased opinion.
With that said, though, I don't know whether I should hold her off or not. I don't know if it's ok to, knowing that this is coming from someone with an 'unstable core'. That's in regard to the long run, though. For the time being, yes, she's being held at arms' length.
I didn't really want this entry to be about her, but it's been bugging me since Wednesday night/Thursday morning when it happened.
I'll cover The Dark Knight Rises in the next one.
[X_X]-A.P.
*I wasn't angry initially, nor am I now, but last night was completely different. I got very drunk, very angry, and, had she answered her phone, I would've verbally assaulted her until I'd destroyed our whole friend-/family-/relationship completely. Luckily, she didn't pick up, and I called a good friend of mine whom, despite being stressed about a case of domestic violence next door, took the time out to listen to me vent completely. Then she read me Harry Potter until I fell asleep.
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